Strained Relations

Strained Relations: Help for Struggling Parents of Troubled Teens

When You’re Not Looking Forward to Mother’s Day

Posted by Marcia on May 6, 2010

I’m one of those who would like to skip Mother’s Day. It’s not because I’m opposed to it: it is due to my life circumstances.

Mama died in 1973. I have a wonderful mother figure in my dear Aunt Polly, and she has served in that role for many of her nieces and nephews who have lost their parents.

I am fortunate to have a terrific mother-in-law, and I call her “Mom”. She’s been such a wonderful addition in my life, so warm and caring. She welcomed my son and me into her life with open arms, has taken care of us when we needed help and has been a wonderful friend to me. I know how lucky I am.

Then there is the most important part of Mother’s Day for me, my own role as a mom. As my son and I are not on speaking terms at this time, and this brings me the most pain of all of my losses. There is no describing the love I have for him, the worry and the loss I feel.

It is my dearest hope that we will reconcile in the near future. I’ve opened my heart, opened my arms, and have invited him to talk with me. The next step is his.

Until then, I think I’ll do what I’ve done for the past few years: honor my mom, aunt and mother-in-law, hope the day passes quickly and that next year will be different with my son.

You’re welcome to share your thoughts and experiences.

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One Response to “When You’re Not Looking Forward to Mother’s Day”

  1. Ginny said

    Thanks for sharing about the estrangement of your son and you. We have two grown boys 4 years apart. Our eldest son, went away to to UCLA in 1993 and his life fell apart. He is a very intelligent young man;however, depression set in after about a year of college. There has been times when we didn’t know if he was alive or dead. For long periods he never called and we didn’t have an address or phone number for him. The pain that this causes me is astronomical. Over the last couple years we see or talk to him maybe a couple times a year. He always says he loves us and is sorry for not calling or visiting.

    I want to fix our relationship, we have tried to get medical help for him, offer to pay for him to complete college (1 semester left) and even offered to train him in his Dad’s field of employment. We love him and would die for him. Our prayer is that one day he will see what a great person he is and can be. He has much he could contribute to society.

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